Bursting with adequatulence

Dear ******,

As of today, I give my 2 weeks’ notice. It was awesome to come back from vacation and be told by no less than 5 people that they’re glad I returned, before things completely descended into chaos.  Stick that in your yearly review and smoke it. 

See, if the office were a beauty pageant contestant, I would be the glue keeping your ass in the bikini.  You can try to do it on your own, but without me keeping things in place, well, you just end up with a giant wedgie.  When I’m here, you can focus on more “important” things.  When I’m not,  you realize that no one is there to cover your ass anymore.  Which you will only realize from the collective gasp of the audience during your baton-twirling tribute to Great American Competitve Eaters, complete with rhythmic gymnastics, to the tune of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” 

Indeed. I shall leave you to Vaseline your teeth. 

With kindest regards, you stupid rimjob, 

*******

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One Response to “Bursting with adequatulence”

  1. planetross Says:

    ah … the euphorea of your return will dissipate faster than a plate of doughnuts at coffee break. Wallow in it’s vapour while you can.

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