With friends like you, who needs friends

Dear *****,

When I started here, you were my friend. 
A fairly good one upon whom I could depend. 
You helped me get a job here; 
You said it would help me get a new career. 

And I was dumb enough to believe,
that nothing else was up your sleeve. 
I wanted just to get off the dole, 
being laid off for 5 months and in the hole. 

But that’s the last “nice” thing you did for me.
Though on that, I doubt you’ll agree. 
You’re a cunt, through and through. 
They’re assholes here, and so are you. 

You forgot to mention so much about this place, 
that someone would always be in my face. 
Micromanage, complain, nitpick and then,
talk about it behind my back again and again. 

Zero respect from the staff. 
“Valued employee?” Yeah, that’s a laugh.
People don’t even bother to correctly spell my name
but from me they demand the same? 

Reporting to 7? 10?  bosses all day long,
whose demands put me in a game of ping pong. 
So fucking sick of their conflicting demands, 
and of you watching from the stands. 

Win a battle, lose the war. 
Turns out, you too are my supervisor. 
Fuck, if you mentioned that before I came, 
I’d have laughed so hard you’d have burst into flame. 

NO, I don’t want to meet up with you for a drink. 
NO, I won’t care what the rest of our friends think. 
I honestly hate you, you self-centered whore. 
You deserve all that is coming to you and then some more. 

I’m glad I’ve seen your true make. 
your whole persona is just that: fake. 
I hope you break more bones, you fucking shrew. 
I really, truly, doodley-do.

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One Response to “With friends like you, who needs friends”

  1. planetross Says:

    I think the “I really, truly, doodley-do.” really takes the edge off this and almost turns it into a love letter.
    hee hee!

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