Top 10 Ways to Enjoy Your 2 Weeks’ Notice

10. Add an extra 20 min to your lunch. Enlist the help of a nice intern to cover the phones. 

9. Gossip profusely with the other serfs in the office because you ain’t in no hurry to get any work done and they’re very chatty since they know where you stand. 

8. Enjoy an insanely amazing and decadent dinner at Babbo with someone you care about. 

7. Ignore emails from your boss until he puts the director in copy and then reply only when no fewer than 2 hours have passed. 

6. Take 4 hours to do a 20 minute project where you are expected to collect desk keys, re-label them, , put them in an envelope for each person whose desk they belong to, seal the envelope, have the person sign it and then create a filing system.  Breakdown: 20 minutes for the actual project, 4 hours spent explaining to the office why you’re spending 4 hours doing a task around desk keys that no one even uses. 

5. Refuse to train your replacement on the grounds that you have been deemed over and over “unqualified” and don’t feel comfortable. 

4. Spend several days being shuttled back and forth between directors smiling as you walk down the hall, knowing you’re just running down the clock. 

3. Make plans with various serfs to have dinner, drinks and revenge. Gossip some more. 

2. Show up 25 minutes late every morning. 

1. Laugh in your boss’ face when he threatens to fire you, after you’ve already given notice.

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5 Responses to “Top 10 Ways to Enjoy Your 2 Weeks’ Notice”

  1. planetross Says:

    If I didn’t know better I’d think I worked with you!!!

  2. 2 Week's Notice Says:

    What?! I thought you worked with kindergarteners!

    Are you calling me childish?

  3. Silindile Ntuli Says:

    I think I’m gonna love this blog, I’ll bookmark and add to my site tomorrow.. Great stuff

  4. planetross Says:

    I think you are enjoying more than your 2 week’s notice now!

  5. Chicago Aku Aku Says:

    Hey, where are you?

    I have people asking me why you stopped writing and I didn’t know, so I just told them you’re on the run. Something about Witness Protection fucking things up.

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