Dear Customers,
Because I’m feeling magnanimous today, I will share with you the reason I don’t allow you to visibly anger me anymore with your stupid demands, rudeness, insipid helplessness and generaly cuntitude that comes with being middle-aged menopausal women.
When you start up with your nastiness, rudeness, and general mistreatment of me, the retail worker, I imagine stabbing you with my scissors, in the face, repeatedly. I picture picking up the largest piece of merchandise near me and swinging it like a baseball bat until it connects with that thick skull of yours. Home-run!
And to top it off, after I finish killing you in my head, I smile, look you straight in the eye and wish you a great afternoon, good luck or a wonderful evening. And I thank you for your patronage.
See, if you anger me and I break the mask I wear to get through the day, then you win. But when I continue about my task of helping you with the same level of neutral professionalism and polite faux-interest that I give my nonasshole customers, I win. And top it off, I’m entertained by scenes of your death.
Some days are harder than others, but I Will. Not. Let. You. Get. To. Me.
So doubly, I will continue to win because I laugh at you. You have no idea what I’m thinking and that is freedom.
Oh yeah, and I watch Dexter not for entertainment, but more of a “how-to.”
Thank you, come again,
*******
Tags: business, depression, fleeting, fuck you, funny, happy happy, hate, humor, i hate my job, i hate you, not really funny, philosophy, professional, random, revolution, take this job and shove it, victory, work, worker
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