Posts Tagged ‘labor’

2 down, 8 to go

September 16, 2009

I have to say, I actually don’t completely hate my job now that I know it will be ending soon.  There’s really something to be said for showing up 20 minutes late and not giving a fuck.  That got the day off to a great start, and from there it only got better. I only cussed 3 times, and once was just to make sure I still knew how. It is amazing to actually have an ok day.

I totally should have done this months ago!

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Sarkasm, I haz it

August 26, 2009

Dear ********,

You’re going to indulge me while I engage in a past time we Americans like to call “snark.” It is really quite simple. Just try to keep up. 

 

You want me to count the number of pens and pencils in the office rather than work on recruitment when I have 4 urgent posts open? SURE. 

You sent me an email entitled “papertowel management” and expect me to respond? SURE. 

After deeming me “unqualified” for the job I already do, you hire a new HR Assistant and expect me to TRAIN her? SURE. 

So, do you get the general structure of the game? Let’s try the next level. 

You fire the HR Assistant who was MORE QUALIFIED THAN ME, then dump her duties on our intern -who incidently also interviewed for the HR Assistant job but was deemed unqualified AND was nice enough to kill some time in the office while trying to get a job? SURE. 

You not only dump the duties onto Unqualified Person #2 (Intern) but you expect her to do the job you wouldn’t pay her to do? SURE. 

You ask prioritize the collection all desk keys in the office, tag them, label them, put them in labeled envelopes, then have the person with the corresponding desk sign and seal the envelope of the key after I got back from vacation, and have about 10 days of emails? PS:  $40 in key copies later, and no less than 10 staff members tell me they don’t lock their desks anyway. SURE.

You tell me that you see me only as an office manager and expect me to stay here? SURE. 

Jesusfuck, this game is like Monopoly. It can seriously go on forever. Or for the next 2 weeks. 

Which, while having to deal with you, feels like forever. 

UGH, FUCKING DROP DEAD ALREADY,
*******

Raison d’etre

August 25, 2009

Dear ********,

Maybe I really am only capable of answering the phones. But I’ll be goddamned if I do it for you any longer. 

Sincerely,

*******

Opportunity knocks

August 24, 2009

Dear ********,

I got the opportunity to not see you every day. I’m taking it. 

Go to hell,

*******

“Maggots, Michael, you’re eating maggots.”

August 19, 2009

Dear ********,

I bet you’re wondering which wall(s) I hid the 10-day old raw shrimp in, huh.  Well, I reckon you’ll find the location(s) as soon as you find that part from the air conditioner, the keys to the restrooms and what’s left of my pride. 

Happy hunting, you rotten cunt,

*******

Kitchen Aide

August 18, 2009

Dear ********,

I am quitting in 2 weeks because I did not go to college for 5 years to be a kitchen attendant. Milk. Coffee. Sugar. Refill the soaps. Clean the dishes people leave. Clean out the refrigerator after someone has left what may have been pad thai for 5 months. Wipe up your crumbs. Milk. Coffee. Sugar. Coffee filters. Refill the soaps. Milk. Coffee. Sugar. Buy more papertowels. According to you, my job begins and ends in the kitchen.  

So don’t bother to interview anyone to replace me. Just send them out with $10 and your garbled French instructions and see what they come back with. If they don’t run off with the money, and manage to get even 1 of the million stupid kitchen things you check every day, they’re your new office manager. 

I hope someday you drown in a vat of Palmolive, you waste of sperm and eggs. 

Sincerely, 
*******

Jerkstore

August 17, 2009

Dear *******,

This office is full of jerks. You know it and I know it. Trouble is, you won’t admit your own jerkocity. 

You are a jerk. You demand results, take away the tools I need to do the job and blame me for failure. You bounce me between departments rather than taking the lead and acting like the DIRECTOR you’re paid to be. You’ve thrown me under the bus more times than I can count.   You micromanage me, insult me, belittle me, and expect me to enjoy being here. You’re a jerk, plain and simple. 

After I’m gone, don’t place a help-wanted ad, don’t call a temp agency. Call the Jerkstore; they’ll have exactly what you need. 

Fuck you,
*******

Fuck you very much

August 13, 2009

Dear *******,

Yeah I’m going for the obvious here. You’re on my last nerve. 

Fuck off, 
*******

Energized

August 12, 2009

Dear ******,

When you told me I didn’t get the job I already do here, did you expect me to cry? Cuz when you sitting there blabbing, I was thinking how much I’d like to beat you with a pillowcase filled with batteries. 

Sincerely yours, 
*******

Duh

August 12, 2009

Dear *******,

When I expressed interest in making a lateral move within this organization (only to get away from your direct supervision, I might add), you and your cronies put me through a demeaning and insulting “recruitment” process, after I’ve been here 9 months doing 80% of the job-in-question already (check my timesheets, bitch). You then told me flat out if someone has more qualifications you’ll prefer them to me (I’m still checking on the legalities of that one). 

You then put me through a 1.5 hour interrogation, told me I’m not qualified to do the job I already do and hired someone with 7 years less experience than me. 

And you think I’m going to stay in this stupid job? 

I mean, seriously. 

*******