Posts Tagged ‘revolution’

The Glued-on Smile

March 3, 2010

Every February-ish I’m listing to one song or another from Skinny Puppy on repeat. Like, Repeat. With a capital blowmyearsout. This year, of course, is no exception. Apart from the car I drive whilst listing to aforementioned song, and contemplating taking a wrong turn into a telephone pole. 

Of course the live version video is better but this is here for clarity’s sake. Hah. Clarity.

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Shrinkydinks

January 27, 2010

Dear CowWorker, 

I’d say I’m really sorry you live a small life, but that would imply my considering you and your sad existence.   My life is not small, I will not work here for 31 years and have this place as my sole source of entertainment, interaction or friends. 

Have a wonderful evening with your Lean Cuisine dinner, your sham of a marriage and the children you squeezed out who don’t love you anymore. I have Things to Do, Places to Go, Drinks to Drink and the impending GRE on my plate. 

In other words, kindly fuck off.

Sincerely yours, 

******

Mindgames

January 25, 2010

Dear Customers, 

Because I’m feeling magnanimous today, I will share with you the reason I don’t allow you to visibly anger me anymore with your stupid demands, rudeness, insipid helplessness and generaly cuntitude that comes with being middle-aged menopausal women. 

When you start up with your nastiness, rudeness, and general mistreatment of me, the retail worker, I imagine stabbing you with my scissors, in the face, repeatedly. I picture picking up the largest piece of merchandise near me and swinging it like a baseball bat until it connects with that thick skull of yours.  Home-run!  

And to top it off, after I finish killing you in my head, I smile, look you straight in the eye and wish you a great afternoon, good luck or a wonderful evening. And I thank you for your patronage. 

See, if you anger me and I break the mask I wear to get through the day, then you win.  But when I continue about my task of helping you with the same level of neutral professionalism and polite faux-interest that I give my nonasshole customers, I win.  And top it off,  I’m entertained by scenes of your death.

Some days are harder than others, but I Will. Not. Let. You. Get. To. Me. 

So doubly,  I will continue to win because I laugh at you. You have no idea what I’m thinking  and that is freedom.  

Oh yeah, and I watch Dexter not for entertainment, but more of a “how-to.”

Thank you, come again,

*******

Rich old white men

January 6, 2010

Dear Corporate,

Pull your heads out of your asses and quit cutting my hours.  You don’t get to decide when or why I will quit. I do. Cutting my hours to the point where I can no longer feed or house myself is tipping the scales in your favour.  You don’t declare my 2 weeks’ notice. I DO. 

While George Bush said working 3 jobs is “uniquely American” , I call it BULLSHIT NECESSARY WHEN FACED BY A LACK OF A LIVING WAGE, OR STEADY HOURS FOR THOSE STUCK BEING PAID BY THE HOUR. 

I CANNOT SAY FUCK YOU LOUD ENOUGH OR HARD ENOUGH TODAY. 

This could be the year where I become eligible for food stamps,

*******

I have literally listened to this every day on the way to work for 3 months

July 25, 2009

Clicky clicky folks.

(But seriously, dammit Le Tigre. Why don’t you have a video of people dancing around on Youtube that I could easily embed in my blog.)

Some of us don’t have fancypants paid accounts that let us upload our own mp3 files here, you know. 

 This jam is for everyone who’s raging against the machine.